Les Miserables OR Waterboarding. Choose Wisely.

It’s been three days now. Three days of silence borne in fear. But now I must speak out, if only one person can be helped by breaking silence, the possible consequences will have been worth it. 

Last Saturday my daughter and mother forced me to take them to see “Les Miserables”. Rarely has a movie been more aptly named. It was the zombie of movies, it would not end. I could've dropped them off, hopped a plane to Hawaii, spent a week on the beach, and still have gotten back before the movie was over. They will be playing that movie on loop in hell.

Afterwards, my daughter and mother asked me how I liked the movie. I could tell by the merciless gleam in their eyes that my life hung in the balance. So I lied. “It was wonderful”, I said, “Everyone should see it.” They moved off, probably to kill butterflys. 

NOT EVERYONE SHOULD SEE THAT MOVIE!!!! 

Sure, if you enjoy root canals, fever blisters, or migraine headaches you’ll love “Les Miz”. The rest of you should flee for your lives.”Les Miz”, a  movie  formed in the fevered imagination of some ruthless, guy hating troll, created  in the mucky swamp of the “let’s make his life unbearable” crowd, is quickly becoming a guy urban legend. Passed down through generations, transmitted from father to son, it will become the ultimate bogeyman, such as “Do your chores or you’ll have to watch Les Miserables in your room.” Or, “They say Inspector Javert comes out of your closet at night.”

It’s too late for me, but you can save yourself.