Locked and Loaded

The Family Research Council, whos primary mission is apparently the anti-harvest because they are expert at appalling believers and unbelievers alike, recently sent Jerry Boykin to address a meeting of WallBuilders. Now there's a pair from hell.

WallBuiders, no shrinking violet when  it comes to converting American history to right wing Christian mythology, and the American Research Council, which wouldn’t recognize research if it fell face forward into it, are charter members of Fleece the Flock, Inc. an organization formed to find out what the Rubes want to hear and then sell it to them. When these guys get together dung hits fans, usually in the form of mouth foaming, and this time was no different. Boykin claimed that
Jesus , when He returns, will be locked and loaded with an AR-15 assault rifle, His robe soaked in the blood of His enemies.

Said Boykin “The Lord is a warrior and in Revelation 19 it says when he comes back, he's coming back as what? A warrior. A might warrior leading a mighty army, riding a white horse with a blood-stained white robe ... I believe that blood on that robe is the blood of his enemies 'cause he's coming back as a warrior carrying a sword.  And I believe now - I've checked this out - I believe that sword he'll be carrying when he comes back is an AR-15.”

To quote one of my favorite lines from the show West Wing, “This is bad on so many levels.”

Would a fashion concious Jesus, whose perhaps most famous command was to “love your enemy” actually wear a robe stained with enemy blood? And how do you check this out, Google? Even worse, how do you debate morons? It’s not like they understand words with more than two syllables.

It’d be funny if it wasn’t so harmful to the enlarging of our tents.

Let It Go

 I feel a brain explosion coming on. It happens when I'm calmly surfing the net looking for cool stuff to share with you guys and I stumble onto an article or site that is so god awful moronic  that before I can escape my brain goes boom. It's a mess and a terribly time consuming job gathering up all the tiny little brain pieces and putting them back together.

It turns out the Disney movie “Frozen”, currently tearing up the box office world wide, pushes a gay agenda.  

According to Kathryn Skaggs, who  blogs as the Well-Behaved Mormon Woman, “The gay agenda to normalize homosexuality is woven into Disney's movie Frozen not just as an underlying message - it is the movie.” Apparently Disney designed the movie “in order to woo its intended audience, parents, into a frozen-state, which would then allow liberalism to indoctrinate children.” This puts a whole new light on the hit song “Let It Go”

The best part of the blog post, which is really long, is that she uses some great clips from the movie. So that’s fun. 

But Kathryn, we need to talk. Well behaved Mormon women don’t use their day passes to spew their mental condition all over the interwebs and they certainly don't write blog posts while they’re off their meds. Usually they let it go in group time where everyone has a peculiar mental twist and the counselors can nod and say thanks for sharing. No one in the group even notices your propeller beanie.

But out here, brains explode.

Slippery Slopes

If every single word of the bible isn’t literally, factually, and scientifically true, is God still God?

Is the point of the creation story how old the earth is, or that God created all things?

If stories like Adam and Eve or the Great Flood aren’t descriptions of actual, historical events, but rather allegories seeking to state clear spiritual truths, are they any less meaningful?

For inerrantists the bible becomes a trap, forcing them into incredible contortions of reason and bizarre rationalizations of totally unGodlike behaviors. Genocide, the death penalty for unruly children, stoning of adulterers, inerrantists have to develop complex and totally irrational theologies to explain away all kinds of things that a loving God would never do.

If, however, the bible is a book simply meant to be God’s means of helping man reconcile himself to Christ, an aid rather than an idol, then any questions that arise can draw us nearer to God. Jesus, after all was not referring to scripture when he said, “I am the Way”. The bible was never meant to be deified, Christ was. Reading the words of scientifically primitive writers was never meant to defy the truth of God’s creation in light of new information.

So relax, we have seen an explosion of knowledge in the last 100 years greater than the sum of all previously accumulated knowledge in the history of mankind and our faith still stands. So is the slippery slope really slippery, or even a slope?

Probably not.

Men's Relationship Rules

I thought I'd share this with you, Unfortunately I do not know who wrote this originally.....

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RELATIONSHIP RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE THESE ARE OUR RULES! PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE: SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK! STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK! OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK! JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH. IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.. PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING