The Brockton Rox, a minor league baseball team, is introducing an $80 hot dog for their fans. The foot-long wiener will get the royal treatment. After deep frying, it will be rolled in truffle oil, then coated in porcini dust. The dog is to be topped with white truffle shavings and crème fraiche. If that doesn't gild the lily enough, the frank will be finished with caviar and fresh roe.
This is an outrage! Not the eighty dollars, professional sports teams have gotten so adept at ripping off their fans I can't get too worked up about overpriced stadium food, but putting porcini dust, truffle shavings, creme fraiche, caviar and fresh roe on a hot dog? Are you kidding me? Does anyone here know what a hot dog is? You're gonna put truffle shavings on the ground up remains of animals that would never sell on their own, anyone for a pig's nose smothered in entrails?
Now here's the deal and this matter is not open for debate, Stadium hot dogs should only be available with ketchup, mustard, relish and onions, all of which are to be served in tiny plastic packets with those fake tear here instructions, packets designed to leave emotional scars on kids and adults alike. In extreme circumstances they may be offered with chili as long as the chili is the consistency of water in order to speed the transfer of the chili from the dog to your clothing.
Now I'd pay $80 for that....
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