So I'm behind a gaggle of teenagers ordering drinks from the barista at my local Starbucks wondering if I'll get a chance to order before the rapture, and it occurs to me that there are prayer meetings in prison, go ahead and knock them silly.
Is this what it's come to? Children ordering drinks at a coffee shop that have only a passing acquaintance with a coffee bean? That the crowds separating me from a strong cup of coffee, at a coffee shop for crying out loud, don't know where Colombia is much less that it supplies more than cocaine to the US market? And what's with tall, grande, and vente? Have small, medium, and large fallen so far from favor in the vernacular that we allow somebody to sell us a small coffee and call it tall?
Why when I was young, walking to school uphill in a snowstorm both ways, you ordered coffee with or without cream, that was it. And it didn't cost $4.95. Don't get me wrong, today's coffee shops offer exotic blends from around the world, wonderful atmosphere, wi-fi, and a place to meet that far surpasses the coffee experience of the past. But it's getting out of hand and it's gotta stop.
Here's what I propose. Separate the lines. If the drink you want takes longer to order than the gestation period of a humpback whale you get in line A. If all you want is a cup of coffee so rich it would cause border wars in South America, get in line B. That way nobody has to serve time because he's stuck in line behind a bunch of teenagers who need fake ID's to buy cigarettes.
"Nuff said?
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